I've gotten quite a number of questions about my latest trip to learn about one of the oldest meditation techniques out there. I'm taking this opportunity to write down and share some FAQ's that have intrigued friends, family and colleagues alike. Here's part 2 of a 2 part post explaining how my individual experience in this course has affected my perspective in daily life.
(Part 1 can be found here )
Disclaimer: please take my experience with a grain of salt. I am 1 of many that has tried and practiced this technique. Through some of my conversations with others, I have learned that each experience is different, profound in its own way and it is upto the meditator what to make out of it.
What did you think? I have never worked so hard during time off. However, I have never been more well-rested and centered from a vacation as I have when I returned.
Was it hard? Yes - as I mentioned in part 1, the hardest part for me was sitting still and concentrating on the "technique of the day". This was not necessarily the hardest part for some other students in the course.
Which days were hardest?
Day 1: because it was the first day and you had to get used to the rhythm of life in the course
Day 4: most days the technique will change slightly so you would have something to focus on, but we had an extra day to master the technique from day 3. My mind was eager to try something new so sitting down was hardest on this day.
Day 7: realizing that I had been there for a week. I had 3 more days to give it all I had, but knowing how much work each day was by now was tough. Some would beg to differ because it was well past the halfway point.
Which parts were easiest? Every evening, the teacher would present a nightly discourse on the day's philosophy and the next day's technique. All my questions from the current day were answered as if someone was reading my mind. Of course S.N Goenka is a great speaker - funny and full of entertaining anecdotes.
This made the end of each day refreshing. After a shorter meditation would be lights out and I would wake up the next day energized to start again.
Oh gee. I can't meditate. Every time I try I get lost in my thoughts.... This is completely normal. The monkey mind is alive in even the most established meditators. It was a constant challenge to not get lost or fall asleep when my thoughts started racing. Accepting the fact when it happens and returning to concentration without judgement is key to developing rhythm of practice.
What about psychosomatic difficulties? During sittings of strong determination where students and participants were asked to sit still in their position of choice for an hour without major movement, a lot of physical/psychological things came up for me as well (think: knee pain).
During times when I was not meditating, I noticed no traces of pain came up, only to have them return during meditation. Soon enough, the knee pain stopped coming altogether and I came to the realization that my crafty mind played some good tricks (sneaky, very sneaky!).
My ability to distinguish was based on whether or not the condition went away when I wasn't meditating. I certainly would have moved during a sitting if I knew I had an existing knee injury. The boundary between actual physical conditions and physical conditions manifesting through one's thoughts is an ongoing challenge but this was a good start.
Did anything that came up surprise you? Yes - in a couple of dimensions.
Physically: not needing as much sleep as I thought I would, not sweating as much in the middle of summer, being really impressed with how delicious the simple food was and how eating that made me feel physically better.
Mentally/emotionally: very vivid dreams and memories surfaced. Sometimes my monkey mind couldn't help but explore and other times I found restraint in returning my concentration back into what I was supposed to focus on.
There were days when I doubted myself and wanted to run away but the consideration wasn't strong enough to make me actually pack a bag or two.
What about after? Again, yes - in a few ways
Physically: Most surprising was reintegrating into the real world. On the last day when silence was lifted, normal voices in the room sounded like people yelling. Upon returning to Vancouver, I could hear, see, smell, taste with a much higher sensitivity to stimuli and how that was affecting my body. Call it spidey-sense. I have gained a renewed appreciation for the wonders of the human body.
Mentally: Heightened presence. Being able to remember names, faces and stories of people I just met without difficulty, being able to focus on the task at hand without distractions and resulting increased in productivity were some differences to name a few.
Emotionally: Aware of being less rattled, less negative reacting towards everyday nuances (e.g. road rage, long lineups, traffic). I was not completely free from experiencing anger/sadness but had an easier time letting go, accepting realities and figuring out solutions to problems. Developing a greater understanding of offensive/negative people and having a bigger urge to help others, build community were a few more changes.
What was it like being so close but unable to talk to your partner? Seeing him across the meditation hall in group meditation hours was motivating during days where I felt tired and couldn't wait to leave. I was rattled the one time he was really late to the session because I wasn't sure if I would be able to check if everything was okay (it was). After all, the person that left would have to drive back to Merritt on day 10 for pick up.
Coincidentally we may have shared a few meals beside each other with a curtain in between us at the dining hall. :)
In short, maintaining no contact was not the hardest part but rather relying on the strength and silent support of the other person to push past mental boundaries. When we finally got to share our experiences together, we realized that neither of us was having it easy. Funny how those things work out.
Would you do it again? Surprisingly, yes although not anytime soon.
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In summary, although I had to work very hard and with the awareness that doing the course again would feel very different, I have gotten a lot out of my first Vipassana experience.
Would I recommend it? For people that want to embark/are on a journey towards self-mastery or those that want to uncover the deeper parts of the self, yes. For those that are looking for a cure all, no, because the volunteer assistant teachers and staff are generally not professionals capable of diagnosing/treating physical and mental ailments.
My advice for those strongly considering is to be prepared to work hard and commit to the 10 days in order to reap full benefits out of the experience.
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Thanks for reading!