Susan Cain's TED Talk remains one of the most popular TED Talks of all time to date. It's no surprise given it's theorized 33.3-50% of the US population is made up of introverts (or at least people in the introverted side of the extrovert-introvert spectrum.
I have recently re-read her award winning work called "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking". It has been at least 3 years since I read this piece. Looking at it with a fresh set of eyes has made me reflect on what it means to be around introverts and how to best harness this mystical power that they have.
Before I share some of my thoughts, perhaps I should take a step back and define what I mean by "introverts" in this context. We often describe introverts as those that are shy, quiet or meek and extroverts as more outgoing, strong, adventurous personalities. It is often implied these are mutually exclusive - you're either one or the other, and being a shy extrovert is an oxymoron when in fact many introverts can appear to be outgoing (see:pseudo-extrovert).
Introversion, in this context, refers to the tendency to be sensitive to external stimuli (sound, smell, sight, touch, taste, criticism). Introversion and extroversion should be seen as a continuous spectrum. "Introverts", in this case, are those in the 50-100% side, leaning away from extroversion;they are less sensitive/reactive to external stimuli, but most are not completely devoid of some of those tendencies.
Now that we've cleared that up, I'd like to share some of my thoughts about how to best manage or work with self-professed introverts.
(If you have any additional thoughts, I ask you share them in the contact section below)
Yes I heard you. I'm not on 'mute'
The work of psychologist Gerald Matthews talks about the various approaches introverts and extroverts have to problem solving. An introvert's reflectiveness takes up a significant amount of cognitive capacity. Introverts will think more carefully, digest information thoroughly and invest more energy into cognitive tasks, trading speed for precision.
Sometimes introverts are approached with questions that require some consideration. Often the silence (awkward or not) makes us feel that the participant has not heard the question when in fact they are carefully deliberating. Whether or not it disrupts the introvert's train of thought would depend on the situation, but as the requestor, perhaps we can give them more space to think. If we don't, introverts, please be patient for those that have yet to understand and kindly request for the space you require.
Remember: introverts will be geared to reflect; extroverts will be geared to respond.
Engage Positively
Introverts will have tendencies to become better listeners with an inclination towards harmony as opposed to conflict. Sometimes introverts will take strong positions without aggression, a quiet persistence (think: Gandhi). The intent is to come up with decisions that can help both parties. Encouraging introverts can go a long way; engage them through positive body language, active listening and you are bound to succeed.
Give space to be creative
I mentioned earlier that introverts are geared to reflect and have tendencies to focus on cognitive-heavy tasks for longer periods of time. Most days it requires space to think and be creative. I've heard of stories about introverts coming to the office early to have some space at the start of the day, only to get rattled by the extrovert that wants to have a chat so early in the morning (things worked out eventually).
Don't take it personally if your resident introvert needs "alone time" (maybe we all do, really!). Interruptions may happen, but ask nicely first!
Sometimes the big ideas come from small voices
For those that have wanted to contribute to conversations, only for someone to raise your point before you said anything...
Extroverts, as mentioned, are geared to respond so there are times when introverts would like to respond, but because of careful deliberation get cut off by the louder voice. Extroverts can't read minds - they are just doing what they naturally do, but in the process we could lose out on some great ideas from those that have yet to speak up.
Provide the introverts with a safe space to voice out their ideas, or ask them directly if they had anything to add. The biggest ideas can come from the smallest voices in the room, and we could all benefit by listening to them.
Finally...
The myth of charismatic leadership has permeated North American society. So many of us think that effective leaders are those that are loud, brave and charismatic, but there are leaders that have a certain power of quiet persistence. These people also have the power to make positive impacts to society and all we need to do is give them the space to do it.
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For more information on Susan Cain's work, you can visit http://www.quietrev.com/